Dress Like Sarah Palin for Halloween

Calling Sarah Palin a "Neiman Marxist," the California Nurses Association has come up with the Dress Like Palin website. It mixes the fun of dressing Palin like a paper doll with the pain of thinking how the $150,000 spent on her wardrobe could have been put to better use. You can even write in what you would buy with that money. Click here to play now.

If you're looking for motivation to vote on Tuesday, check out Palin as President. There must be at least ten people in the country who haven't seen it yet. If you're one of them, here's a hint. The dinosaur only shows up at the beginning so make sure you raise the blinds. And click on the door four times; trust me, you'll be glad you did.

I hope that on Wednesday, these sites will be forgotten and shut down. Let's vote and wake up from this surreal nightmare. I can't take four years of "you betcha." Can you?

More Palin posts:
More Palin Mania
Palin Bingo

An Umbrella for Psychos: Product of the Week

Your child will be a hit with her classmates when you send her to school with this umbrella from Art.Lebedev Studio, aptly named "Fuck the Rain."

Just don't be surprised if you end up having to explain yourself to Child Protective Services.


Meanwhile, there's another umbrella on sale if you want to work out some anger issues or just plain fear for your life. (Remember, it's only assassination if you're important.)

It's the Self-Defense Unbreakable Umbrella from Real Self-Defense and it even has its own instructional video.


At first, it's cute, like Charlie Chaplin doing a trick. But it quickly turns dark with a sociopathic Gallagher watermelon murder, then a Britney-esque beating.

Scary.

The Phillipine president's security detail uses them. (Maybe they can't afford guns?) Come to think of it, after January 20th, 2009, you might want to avoid this guy.

He may not be in a very good mood. Though he'll no longer be president, he may still be dangerous.

More products:
Scrotal Deodorant Wash: Product of the Week

BlogRush Tanks: Ain't that a Shame

Back in June, when I got rejected by BlogRush, I was still a newbie, wet behind the ears. I was hurt that I'd been deemed unworthy.Then I started reading other people's stories about how they had been unceremoniously kicked off the rolls in BlogRush's effort to include only "high quality blogs."

Among the upscale sites it kept was the Tampon Blog. Let me pause here to say, "Ewww!" The site's still there if you're hard up for your feminine products and don't mind waiting weeks for free samples.

Today John Reese sends an email out to his users to let them know BlogRush is shutting down. He goes on about how he entertained offers to sell but was never in it for the money. Sounds like he's perfuming a turd, doesn't it? You can read more about this palaver at Mashable or a hundred other places that have loved to hate BlogRush since its inception.

To celebrate, I'm re-posting my piece from June 10, 2008. Without further ado, I give you:

Je suis arrivée!

I have arrived! This is such a proud moment for me. I received this email from BlogRush today, a wonderful company that helps bloggers get more traffic in exchange for putting a large link on one's site.

This message is to inform you that
we have carefully reviewed your blog:
Magick Sandwich
And your blog did not meet the
strict BlogRush quality criteria.

Reason Your Blog Wasn't Approved:
Inappropriate Content Or Advertising: Obscene or Disgusting

Therefore, your blog has not
been approved for use in our network.
Please do not take this decision personally.
We have decided to only approve the highest quality blogs
for our network.
You should remove the BlogRush code from your blog's pages.
If you improve the quality of your blog, and you feel that
it then meets our strict criteria,you can try and resubmit your blog for review after 30 days.
Thank you for your interest in BlogRush.
Best Regards,The BlogRush Team.

Oh my God, this is so exciting- my content is obscene or disgusting! Not to quibble, but obscenity and disgust aren't mutually exclusive, are they?

But this is not a wholesale rejection- oh, no. If I can "improve the quality" of my blog, I can reapply after thirty days. Does this mean I just need to be more tastefully obscene? What does this word mean, anyway?

obscene adjective:
1. designed to incite to indecency or lust; "the dance often becomes flagrantly obscene"-Margaret Mead 2. offensive to the mind; "an abhorrent deed"; "the obscene massacre at Wounded Knee"; "morally repugnant customs"; "repulsive behavior"; "the most repulsive character in recent novels" [syn: abhorrent] 3. suggestive of or tending to moral looseness; "lewd whisperings of a dirty old man"; "an indecent gesture"; "obscene telephone calls"; "salacious limericks" [syn: lewd] WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University

Wow. That sounds like a review of Pink Flamingos.I'm not fit to touch the hem of Mr.Waters' raiment: he is the Jesus of filth. So how can I tell when I'm being obscene? Like Justice Potter Stewart, will I know it when I see it? I certainly can't imagine how to reverse something like disgust.Frankly, I'm a little thrilled to excite such a strong emotion.

Somehow, this is like the maxim that until you are mugged, you are not a real New Yorker. I prostituted myself to BlogRush and they said, "no, thanks, come back when you've washed up." Now I can say I'm a real Blogger. (And I can take off that frigging code!)

*********

Now everyone else will have to take off that code, too. Au revoir, monsieur. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

MS on Five Star Friday

Five Star Friday is a "weekly collection of links to superior weblog entries from varying categories that have been submitted by the people, for the people. Anyone can submit entries, so if you know of an excellent example, send me the link for the next edition of Five Star Friday.

If you are ever in need of good reading material of the blogular variety, this is the place to be. "

Luckily for me, schmutzie, the site's proprietress, has added Intrepid Tuesday for those of us who feel the need to submit our own work. It's like Sadie Hawkins Day for the blogger set. Or getting your brother to take you to the prom because you know you'll never get asked.

Actually, I did get asked to the prom once, by a Senior, no less. We rode in his Pinto with the gas sloshing unnervingly loudly in the tank. No nookie was had. The next year, I ended our long-distance romance when he told me he was hustling to pay for community college. Yes, that kind of hustling. Men and women. I just didn't dig his entrepreneurial spirit. But that's another story.

So check out 5 Lessons from Customer Service at FSF and while you're there, read the other posts collected there. But please come back to me: I love you, even though I can't pay your tuition.

Original post:
5 Lessons from Customer Service

McCain vs. Obama Dance-Off

This is just too damn funny not to share. Hats off to Barry at enrevanche for bringing it to my attention.

Check out McCain's rictus grin and be afraid, be very afraid. It's one more reason to love YouTube, yo! (And another reason to vote.)

(Everyday Is) Halloween

Back in the Eighties, as a punk in New York City, this song by Ministry was my rallying cry. Here's a taste of the lyrics:

well any time, any place, anywhere that i go
all the people seem to stop and stare
they say 'why are you dressed like it's halloween?
you look so absurd, you look so obscene'

o, why can't i live a life for me?
why should i take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
it's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world

well i let their teeny minds think
that they're dealing with someone who is over the brink
and i dress this way just to keep them at bay
cos halloween is everyday
it's everyday

I wonder if today's young weirdos identify with that. I'm sure they've got their own songs. I'm just out of the loop. Here's a fan's video of (Everyday Is) Halloween on youTube.



This refrain from The Smiths' How Soon is Now literally saved my life.

You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

Singing it to myself kept me from lying down and succumbing to hypothermia on a twelve mile walk in forty degree below zero weather.



These songs are about youthful angst and alienation, sure, but also much more. If you listen closely, they ask for tolerance and kindness, compassion and acceptance.

Like many others, I have changed my appearance over the years. I no longer get strange looks on the street. I wave my freak flag on the inside these days. But underneath, I still long for the same things.

Wassup, Obama?

This is the best Obama ad yet. The "Wassup" guys have never been so relevant. I also like the disclaimer at the end that this does not reflect the opinions of Anheuser-Busch.

Bipolar Britney Bares All!

Poor kitty finds out that Britney's carpet matches the drapes.

Are You Ready for Some Fatwa?

I don't know about you but Monday Night Football is already getting a little boring. So I want to up the ante with some Monday Night Fatwa.

Recently, I went looking for the Danish cartoons that had gotten so many people's knickers in a twist three years ago. I remembered them having been pretty mild and more aggressively unfunny than anything else. I uploaded a few to Photobucket, which was not amused.

I'm not going to test the theory but I'm pretty sure Photobucket would have no problem with a pic of pubes sticking out of a banana hammock. Here's one that slipped past its censorial sensors:

See, that's not so bad! It's not like the one saying Muhammed is gay would have been so much worse. This next one was published in Canada.
Yes, that's Jesus and Muhammad (or Muhammed or Mohammed, depending on your spelling proclivities) making out. It's a two-fer! Just in case you think I'm on the fence about religion of any stripe, here's a picture of me.

I am truly an equal opportunity offender. What is the perfect gift for the girl who hates everything? A fatwa! After all, look what it did for Salman Rushdie.

Look at him: how else would he have a shot at getting laid by the fat grateful girl at the bar, let alone these women? That fatwa was the best thing that ever happened to him.

So show me some fatwa love. You know I deserve it. I might ask you to read some boring stuff but at least it'll never be as long as The Satanic Verses.


Related posts:
Salvation: Just an Email Away!
Salvation Followup: O God, I'm Coming!

Halloween Magick

I stumbled on Exquisite Corpse by happy accident. It is a poetry game comprised of lines submitted by multiple bloggers, then combined to create one piece.

This month's theme was Halloween and the rule was to submit three free form lines without using the words black, orange or spooky. It was hosted by Dragonfly Poems.

Halloween Magick

Little people dressed so sweet
Dance along the city street
Hollering trick or treat
Ghouls, ghosts and vampire alike
Horror strikes this very night
So join these monsters, turn out the light
Whispering Whispering witches gathered ’round the cauldron,
Chanting magical words of wonderous accord,
Shhh, they may see you watching…
Butchered, bleeding
lying on the porch,
a pumpkin.
The veil of mysticism descends on the dark night.
Glowing jack o lanterns and spirits among us
Tonight is for us all.

You can probably tell which verse is mine. (Hint: it involves a pumpkin!) I'm a bit pleased with myself that Magick is in the title. It could be a coincidence, but I choose to think not.

You may now kiss the ring. (And when you're done be sure to head over to humorbloggers.com for all your humor and Halloween needs.)

More Astoria Landscaping

Who can deny that beneath the false gaiety of its balcony's weathered garland lies a horticultural cry for help?

Related post:
Astoria Landscaping

Astronaut Remi Gaillard

Here's one Frenchman who knows how to bring the funny. You can find all of his videos at nqtv.



I can't post just one: Remi Gaillard is like potato chips for my brain! This one's called Organ Donation.



Okay, just one more, then I promise I'll stop. I call this the Orangina Rodeo.



I know, I know. The rodeo should be America's province. I guess Tom Green and Johnny Knoxville were working on other things.

C'est en faisant n'importe quoi qu'on devient n'importe qui. That's Remi's motto,which loosely translated means, "It's by doing just anything that you become just anybody". Ooo, a comedian and an existentialist? As Paris, French in Name Only, would say, "That's hot."

Astoria Landscaping

Here in Queens, New York, homeowners have interesting takes on what constitutes a front yard. For those who prefer real grass, there's this abbreviated option, also known as the Brazilian wax style or the Hitler.
It saves time when yelling to get the kids/dogs/crackheads off the lawn. There just isn't that much to get trampled and peed on.

Then there's the low-maintenance concrete garden below. Don't be fooled by the bright green near the door. That's not grass: it's Astro-turf. The graffiti in front is a classy touch, no?
(By the way, isn't "Concrete Garden" a tune by Elton John? If I ever get famous, I hope I die and Sir Elton changes the words to his own song to capitalize on my tragic demise.)

Seriously, though, I think Jimmy Hoffa might be buried under there.

Listening to Limbaugh

Colin Powell has endorsed Barack Obama. Of course, Rush Limbaugh couldn't keep his stupid mouth shut about it. He wrote to the Politico's Jonathan Martin the following:

Secretary Powell says his endorsement is not about race... OK, fine. I am now researching his past endorsements to see if I can find all the inexperienced, very liberal, white candidates he has endorsed. I'll let you know what I come up with.

How about this, Rush? An open mind might think that Powell sincerely believes that Obama will be a better president. Perhaps his experience with the Bush administration makes him more informed and thus more wary of a McCain win. If you want to get nasty about it, maybe he's trying to wash off the stink of failure that's all but ended his own political career; maybe he regrets his unearned loyalty to Dubya.

Perhaps it was Powell's last flexing of political muscle, an eloquent endorsement of change or at least its possibility. Here's a short excerpt:

...I’m also troubled by…what members of the party say, and is permitted to be said, such things as, ‘Well you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.’ Well, the correct answer is, 'He is not a Muslim, he’s a Christian, he’s always been a Christian.'

But the really right answer is, 'What if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country?'

The answer’s 'No, that’s not America.'

Is there something wrong with some 7-year-old Muslim American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion he’s a Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists. This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

Then here comes this ham-fisted dickhead to throw his weight around. Should it matter? No. But of course it does. He opens the door for people like Pat Buchanan or George Will, who works hard to sound erudite and objective as he sinks like a stone, invoking Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

Well, I've been doing a little research of my own, Rush. Your most memorable quote, in my opinion, is this:

The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.

And the most amusing thing I've ever seen you do is your jittery impersonation of Michael J. Fox, set to Herbie Hancock's Rockit by The Colbert Report.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Huckabee's Obligation
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

The Comedy Central version cuts it off, possibly due to problems with recording rights, but you can find it here or here. Thank God for the Internet! Update: The video in its entirety is no longer available. The Colbert report clip shows part of it at the end of his Huckabee monologue, if you're interested.

One last thing, Rush. I'd like to suggest an endorsement of your very own.

I think it's right up your alley!

Related posts:
Bill O'Reilly Cures Depression
Idiocracy Now Qualifies as a Documentary

Scrotal Deodorant Wash: Product of the Week

Guys, place your orders for Man Junk, a new organic crotch wash made just for your schwantz, taint and family jewels. Here's a bit of the ad copy:

How nice would it be, knowing that your significant other or one-night stand (hey, we're not perfect either) is pleasantly surprised instead of trying not to breathe through their nose? Exactly.

That gives a whole new meaning to "going there". At first I thought it was a crazy idea. Then I thought about all of the insane things women do to stay pubically presentable, from waxing (not really Brazilian, by the way--that was a marketing ploy) to anal bleaching.

Someone's going to have to explain anal bleaching to me; if you're that close to someone's asshole, it seems to me that the time for making value judgments has passed. It's a little late to say, "Eeww, this place looks like a shithole," am I right?

So, if your partner hurls and your dog faints when downwind of your weenie, get thee some Man Junk. No more worries about fummunda.*

Girls, play Secret Santa and sneak this into his gym bag. He'll get the message that there'll be no gifts under his tree (wink wink) 'til he deals with the stink.

Man Junk--It's a product whose time has come!

*the cheese fummunda your balls, silly!

McCain Left on Campaign Bus Overnight

This could absolutely be real news. (I love the new checklist for staffers to make sure it doesn't happen again.)

Leave it to the Onion to find a way to make me laugh at this rheumy-eyed, lizard-necked shit slinger. Especially when it involves McCain scratching like a hamster at the windows of the B.S. Express....

Related post:
Breaking News from Onion News Network

Saturday at the Sandwich

Things are hopping at the Sandwich today. I was checking my Blog Tracker this morning--yes, I'm obsessive, this has been established--and I noticed that one of my referrers is Harvard Business School Working Knowledge, its faculty research site. A referral to Magick Sandwich from Harvard? ¡No me digas! I had to investigate. It's still a mystery but here are some interesting factinos I gleaned along the way.

There's a type of MRI called Magic Sandwich echo imaging. I have no idea what that is, but apparently, it is way better than traditional spin-echo imaging.

A site called Reality Sandwich did an article called Reality Hacking: An Experiment in Magick, which makes it pop up in Google searches and generally irritate the hell out of me. If this site practiced truth in advertising, it would be debunking magick. Hence, reality.

But, no! Ends up it's all about summoning Oriax and brandishing ritual daggers with some douche nozzle named Andy who claims to have healed bipolar disorder with magic. I've got your astral projection right here, buddy!

On a lighter note, Matt at Wizards.com came up with a way to spice up Goblin Flectomancer from Magic the Gathering. He explains his choice of names this way:

Why “Magic Sandwich?” The answer is not terribly sexy - it's a thing that has lots of parts that make up a whole and, you guessed it, it also has flavor.

Not sexy? The sexiness of the Sandwich cannot be denied! To be fair, Matt wrote this in 2006. I'm sure he's much wiser now.

By far, my favorite discovery is the Anti-Theft Lunch Bag.

It's a sandwich bag that has mold printed on it to discourage thieves.
It's like...magick!

McCain Campaign Goes Even More Negative

TPM Election Central has posted audio of a McCain campaign robocall tying Obama to Bill Ayers. Here's the transcript:

"You need to know that Barack Obama has worked closely with domestic
terrorist Bill Ayers, whose organization bombed the U.S. Capitol, the
Pentagon, a judge's home, and killed Americans. And Democrats will
enact an extreme leftist agenda if they take control of Washington.
Barack Obama and his democratic allies lack the judgment to lead our
country."

Read the article and listen to the audio at TPM Election Central | Talking Points Memo | Worst Yet? McCain Campaign Robocall Ties Obama To "Domestic Terrorist Bill Ayers"


I know this isn't funny in any way. In fact, it makes me sick. But after McCain's whining at the last debate about Obama's campaign going negative, I think attention must be paid. To me, this election eclipses all other topics right now. It also sucks all the humor out of life like marrow from a chicken bone. I'll leave it to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to find the funny in this latest outrage.

Say it Ain't So...Madge?

It's official, people. I just got breaking news via email from two, count 'em, two unimpeachable sources that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing. All together now: awwwww.
Both Us Weekly and E!Online have exclusively reported this heartbreaking story of love lost. Apparently, even the amazing tensile strength of a red yarn kabbalah bracelet could not keep this relationship from tearing asunder.

In happier news, Madge has scored season tickets to the new Yankee Stadium for herself and for unlimited future adoptive children she may seek to console herself with.

I for one do not know how I'm going to concentrate on the debate tonight.

Monetize This!

Am I having fun yet? I've spent the last few hours "monetizing" the shit out of my blog. It now looks like a gaudy Google Christmas tree. There is some humor value in tarting up my page, especially when a pro-Palin ad gets dropped on a screed about her gibbering bacterial culture of life. But the irony is short-lived. and then I'm back to being depressed. I shouldn't worry, I know. In order to sell out, I'd have to actually earn something. As Seth Godin writes, Maybe you can't make money doing what you love.

The pitfalls:
1. In order to monetize your work, you'll probably corrupt it, taking out the magic in search of dollars
and
2. Attention doesn't always equal significant cash flow.

I think it makes sense to make your art your art, to give yourself over to it without regard for commerce.

Of course he's right. I am focusing on what I think will make my site a "success" and draining the joy from writing it. Of course, I've only subscribed to Mr. Godin's blog to learn about marketing, but he's also a bit of a philosopher. He's not going to suggest a Crazy Eddie advertising campaign.(Remember him?)



I've discovered many useful tools: ScribeFire, for instance, which I downloaded in order to write posts more easily but ended up using to place ads. RankQuest is another good service which has a CodeCleaner function that appeals to my anal retentiveness, but also shows a reminder of my lowly Google Page Rank on its toolbar. I have Alexa's Sparky add-on and I pop over to SEOmoz regularly to check my page strength. For some reason it always compares me to Perez Hilton's site, like I can compete with him. (I like him better when he dresses like the villain in The Incredibles. Trying to look normal doesn't suit him.)
I'd like to go off about the term "monetize" now, how it's stupid newfangled jargon. I wish I hadn't looked it up. Turns out it's derived from the Latin moneta and dates back to 1879. Knowledge can be so disheartening.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to concentrate on writing and not get mentally constipated about marketing it. Right after I ping Feedburner, Pingoat and Weblogs, that is.

I Always Knew Bono was Evil

How to Treat a Great Depression

Because this is one depression that Prozac can't fix!

The Ticker Doesn't Lie

Our fearless leader George W. Bush just spoke. His aim was to calm us all and to calm the market.

WASHINGTON (CNN) – President Bush said Friday that the U.S. government will continue to work to resolve the economic crisis, which he said is being made worse by anxiety and fear.

"Over the past few days, we have witnessed a startling drop in the stock market," he said in the Rose Garden. "Much of it is driven by uncertainty and fear."

He added, "We will continue to act and resolve this crisis."

What this still photo doesn't show is the stock ticker that was present onscreen throughout his speech. It just kept getting lower and lower. It continues its trend downward as I write. To be fair, could we really expect this chimp with vocal apparatus to reassure anyone in this country?

More Palin Mania

Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez of Brave New Films has penned a funny but scary presidential acceptance speech for Sarah Palin. Here's a snippet:

When President McCain passed away because of that thing in his jaw, you know that goiter kinda thing that made him look like a hamster storin’ food for the winter? Well, as you know his doctors said it popped inside his head like a big inside pimple, and it was sad for all of us who loved the little rascal even if he was kinda liberal about some stuff but we don’t have to talk about that now, but you know what? God works in mysterious ways, my friends. (Laughs.)

Read the rest of it at AlterNet. It'll make you laugh and it will make you queasy.

I can't find the Stephen Colbert video in which he quotes Palin hassling Biden regarding his prior statement that offshore drilling would be a "rape of the continental shelf". Colbert then speculates whether Palin would make the continental shelf pay for its own rape kit. I hope you saw it. If not, you need to watch this show. Trust me.

Palin has her finger on the pulse of the American people when she says that paying higher taxes is not patriotic. Well, she must be a real Yankee Doodle Dandy considering how much taxation she has avoided. As detailed in The New York Times,

One big issue that tax attorneys are pointing to is the fact that the Palins did not report as income the $43,490 that the state gave the family to cover travel expenses for Mr. Palin and the Palin children. Had the Palins reported these payments as income, the couple would have had to pay taxes on it.

Sarah's Joe Six-Pack husband races snowmobiles and considers it a business, rather than a hobby. To wit:

The Palin’s deducted $9,000 in business losses from snowmobiling. This tax-loss would not be allowed if the activity is a hobby. The I.R.S. rule is that if an activity produces a profit in three of the past five years, is a businesses and not a hobby. But the Palins released tax returns for only two years, so it is impossible to tell. One year showed a $9,000 loss, the other year a slight profit.

Not that it should really matter, since seeing Russia cannot confer foreign policy acumen, but Sarah Palin has never seen Russia from Alaska. There is only one place to do that, a tiny town called Diomede. CNN's Gary Tuchman went there and filed the following report.

Sarah Palin has never visited this poverty-stricken place in her beloved state. In fact, she's worth more than a million dollars. Not bad for a hockey mom, right? But she's still down-to-earth, you betcha.

Another Palin post:
Palin Bingo

FREE OJ!

Be the first on your block to sport this tee, available now at the Magick Sandwich t-shirt store.

Customize the color and size to your liking. Wear it often and you may never pay for juice again!

O.J. Simpson Found Guilty, Finally!

Thirteen years to the day from his acquittal in the murders of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman, O.J. Simpson was convicted on armed robbery charges. He faces fifteen years to life plus ten more years on related charges.

There must be some sort of spooky numerology story in that: lucky 13 and all. I'm sure some wacko is toiling over that right now. At last some sort of justice has been meted out, even if it is greatly delayed and technically for the wrong crime.

In this bizarre climate of CEO's with golden parachutes and war criminals getting medals, it's nice to see the smirk wiped off a guilty bastard's face.I'm glad to see something finally make sense.

I've got a feeling that prison is going to seriously hamper his efforts to find the real killer.

Remembering O.J.

On October 3, 1995, Orenthal James Simpson was acquitted of murder.

For more subjects that just aren't funny, check out my guest posts on The Information Paradox. They include:

Can Katie Couric and Tina Fey Save Us From Ourselves?
and
One Step Closer to the Brink

Definitely check out the website while you're there. You'll find excellent writing on a variety of subjects--nothing on OJ's new trial yet, thankfully. But I'm working on it.

Palin Bingo

Thanks to The New York Nerd for finding this game, which is perhaps the one way we can make tonight's debate less painful. It's Palin Bingo!



Each card is printed with Sarah Palin's favorite buzzwords--including "gee" and "drill"-- print them out and play with your friends. It will take your mind off that look on Joe Biden's face that says he can't believe he's running for VP and has to debate her. What a surreal bizarro world it must be for him right now,right?

Speaking of which, does anyone else think it's strange that Palin makes Bush look like a Mensa candidate?

Palin-related posts:
Open for Business!
Sandwich Fixins - September 2008
Vote Republican!

Help Me Prove Marx Wrong!

I'm talking about Groucho, of course. He resigned from the Friars' Club with a telegram which stated, "I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member."

I have joined a club and my need for approval has overcome the sham of my cynicism. Yes, it's true--I'm a people pleaser. I'm just not very good at it. That's why you may not have noticed. Humor Bloggers has accepted me into the fold and I am enveloped in the warmth of our community.
This week, October 1-8th, is all about unity. It's a time to appreciate my fellow humor bloggers. It's also the occasion of the Humor Blogger of 2008 competition. So, in honor of my newfound friends, I say...vote for ME!

It'll only take a second. You don't need to join anything--maybe you agree with Groucho, I don't know--no pressure. Just click here to go to the Humor Bloggers main page, scroll down to the poll to vote. The blogs aren't listed in alphabetical order so you'll have to look. I know it's a pain for you but think of the puppies. (This has nothing to do with puppies but if that'll get you to that page to vote, think away!)

Vote for ME!
Because the only thing better than solidarity is winning!