Happy Birthday to Me

Birthdays are kind of a "big deal" here at Magick Sandwich.
Just look at the card the Sandwich sent me for my 44th birthday.

The Sandwich knows me so well. What a wonderful sentiment. I wonder when Bubbles' birthday is. He'd appreciate this: even though his life expectancy is only 60 years, he's definitely half as creepy, even when flinging poo.

My birthday falls on a Sunday this year. We're going out for dinner Saturday night at the Trustees Dining Room at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. (Regular members are allowed to use it in the summertime.) The chef is doing a "New England Clam Bake." It's funny to go to a museum filled with Picassos and Renoirs to get a tasty down-home reminder of my childhood. It's a bit surreal, just like I like it.

I hope the dinner goes well and that my spousal unit doesn't decide to take the opportunity to say something like this:


We've been together twenty-one years. One of my husband's annoying tics is that he continues to point out mine when he should know by now I'm not going to change, just as I know he will continue to build sock gardens instead of using the hamper. (That's all I can think of at the moment. He's pretty perfect. Does it sound like I'm sucking up for a gift?)

One tic that he doesn't know about is this: every year I buy the September issues of Vogue, Elle, InStyle etc. Every magazine has its fall fashion issue and each competes for the highest number of pages. Vogue always wins--this year it has 584--it's a real mailbox buster. I feel sorry for mailmen this time of year, straining their backs under the load of all this glossy nonsense.

But the real reason I buy them is because they all highlight my astrological sign. Though I am an atheist and disdain this silly crap, I have done this so long it's become a ritual. I wonder what my "forecast" will say this year:

I'm a conscientious person who needs to let loose....If I'm in a relationship, I need to pay more attention; if single, I need to get out there because a guy is waiting in the wings....My best days for romance are the 7th, 14th and 21st....Avoid taking financial gambles on the 9th.

I just flipped through Vogue looking for the "real" one but I can't find it. Maybe the editors smartened up and removed the horoscopes completely? Now I'll just have to page through hundreds of photo spreads of heinous-looking, ridiculously-priced outfits to find out. I'll let you know, dear reader. For my birthday, I have one wish: please don't judge me because of this foible. Love me for admitting it. That's what a Virgo would do.