Don't get me wrong: I think it's great that Angelina Jolie is helping raise awareness of the plight of the Somalis. But do these refugees want to give her a bowl of rice?
Seriously, her wasted muscles are straining to keep her huge head from toppling off its stalk into the poor woman's lap. Maybe instead of the baseball cap, the U.N. could have her wear a drinking helmet like this:
Just replace the cola with one of those protein drinks made for the elderly and bedridden, like Ensure. A volunteer could follow her around and keep the hat filled at all times.
We could start a fund to bring food to her French chateau. We could call it The Great Cheeseburger Airlift of 2009. Come on, people. We can do this!
Très Jolie:
Angelina Jolie, Beautiful Freakshow
High Brow, Low Brow, Meet-me-in-the-Middle Brow
5 Comments; Click here to comment.:
her head? what about her lips?
amen, sista.
@mary: True. The veins in her arms are starting to freak me out, too.
Yikes, I didn't realize how scary she was getting. Thanks for the warning. Won't be going to her next movie. :)
You can send her a sandwich ... or you can turn the page.
Somewhere, Angelina needs protein ... and liquids -- and you can help. You, and others like you, can ensure that Angelina need never go another day without the nutrition and support that will help her reach her full potential.
We are a community. Together, we can end the tragedy of Angelina -- but only if we respond as one to this growing crisis.
It doesn't matter what you can give (any internationally traded currency; foodstuffs in VacPacs, please). Even a lakh of rupees can make a real difference in the life of Angelina.
Times are hard in our global village; yet we are connected. In this world, should such skinniness as Angelina suffers go on?
I say, "No." That's why I'm asking you to forward whatever you think right. Be it one naya paisa or $150,000 -- or mobile meal -- your contribution moves us that much closer to the day when our Angelina can lead a healthy, normal life.
That day *will* come. As Angelina once told me, "If I can I-magine it, we can *we-manage* it!"
It's that sort of wit and strength of spirit that tells me that Angelina will make it through. Given the opportunity, Angelina could be ... anything.
Imagine that. Imagine Angelina, and imagine a better world. Hasten the day. Give, because she needs it.
Sincerely,
Vanessa Bertram
Co-Director
Angelina_Matters.org
@unfinished: I think they hydrate her before movie scenes. She looks a lot better than this.
@Angelina Matters: Bless you for taking up this noble cause. It's not enough to pelt her with Luna bars. We must "we-magine" a world where Angelina gets the nutrition she needs. I've already stopped sponsoring a starving child in order to divert the funds to Angelina, where it's needed. (She'll probably adopt that child, anyway.) My next wish is to close her vagina for business. Just becasue she has 100 rooms in her French chateau doesn't mean she has to fill every one with progeny.
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