A Super Bowl Mystery

At Magick Sandwich, we're not afraid to ask the tough questions:

Why don't we ever see players puking on NFL broadcasts?

It's odd, isn't it? We see plenty of injuries that might cause a player to barf, especially concussions. I'd think a helmet to the breadbasket might do it, too. I know they're padded up but a hit from a three hundred pound battering ram might make one cough up one's Gatorade.

Some of the hits look pretty bad. The network doesn't mind that: they'll replay it and amplify the sound of the impact. But the cameramen and producers are also very good at cutting away. They'll let us see a moment of someone grimacing in pain but not more than that. But it's so hard to believe that not one player has vomited on the field or the sidelines and had the act inadvertently broadcast to viewers.

I'm not saying I want someone to get hurt. That's a bit disingenuous, though, since fans watch football to see huge men smash into each other. They're paid to do damage while risking their own future physical health. The NFL runs serious ads about preventing concussions, but the only way to do that would be to ban football altogether. But then what would we do this Sunday?

I got a little too somber there. Back to the question: why no puking? Do you know?

While we're at it, let me ask you this: why don't we ever hear about turf toe anymore? It used to happen all the time a few seasons back. Did someone cure it, like polio?

Finally, why do announcers talk about "contain"? "They really need to work on their contain" or "he has to get contain." I distinctly remember that this used to be called containment. My husband says "contain" is a sports term. But why? The actual word is so much more descriptive than this stunted version. They're customizing the English language to make it sound more technical, but it's technically wrong.

There I go again, getting sidetracked by my inner English major. Why no puking? Keep your eyes peeled this Sunday. You never know.