Chances are, you know someone who's forsaken food in favor of booze. Now, he can have both. We've discussed the joys of bacon vodka here, so let us now extol the virtues of Alaska Distillery's Smoked Salmon vodka. It's a little taste of the Pacific Northwest with what's sure to be an even more distinctive flavor on the way back up.Smirnoff Espresso vodka is eye-opener, hair-of-the-dog and morning joe all rolled into one. Brought to you by the master of liver killing libations, Smirnoff shows mercy by disguising its usual vodka tang. The same could be accomplished with Starbucks' coffee grounds salvaged from a Dumpster. But that would be harder to wrap.
Is your buddy bloated from too much 7- Eleven wine?
With its dietetic fruit flavor and implied
protection from scurvy, Belvedere Pink Grapefruit vodka is an excellent
choice. It shows you care about his bleeding gums but not enough to let
him into your house.For those with a sweet tooth-- though not necessarily an actual tooth-- we recommend Cupcake vodka, in flavors like Devil's Food and Frosting. Pinnacle Cotton Candy vodka, conjuring images of the county fair midway, is a yummy choice, too, unless it reminds him of the time he got turned down for a job as a carny because he was too dirty.
Your best choice of all may be Medea vodka. Though it boasts no interesting flavor, its bottle has a scrolling LED display on which you can program your most heartfelt message, such as, "We really think you should get some help." No intervention necessary!We hope this helps with your last-minute holiday shopping. Bottoms up!
This is hilarious. The craziest part is that they are real! Thanks for the holiday tips. I'm almost sorry I don't know any alcoholics around to enjoy these, especially the last one.
ReplyDeleteI echo Laura's comments. I wish I knew some thirsty active alcoholics so I could send them a holiday gift I know they'd appreciate.
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