You stalked me with your Street View car and took an awful picture of me while stealing my neighbors' WiFi data. I was a little flattered, though I wish I'd had time to freshen up. Then you swore it was a rogue buddy who'd done it and taught me that without a password, we're all just asking for it. But lately I feel like I'm the only one putting any effort into this relationship.
|No fooling- Google my address and you'll see me.|
What else must I do, Google? I love you and fear your displeasure. You know everything about me. Everything. So please, Google, unencrypt your heart.