Sandwich Fixins #9

 When I can't stand the clutter in the fridge, I bring you another serving of sandwich fixins.

What's the warranty on an exorcism? 


I'm sad that Hugo Chavez' body was too decomposed to be preserved and displayed like Lenin. It means no one will ever be able to break into his glass casket and dress him in crotchless panties.

Why do pickles say "Refrigerate After Opening?"


People who love pigeons should be forced to feed them worms and grubs. Do they just assume the birds prefer stale bread, with all those carbs and gluten?  Why isn't PETA on this?


Could Lois Lane get cancer from Superman's X-ray vision? 


If tombstones are our final caption, I'd like mine to read "Ask me about alternative medicine." Or maybe "Incurable romantic." I also like "This isn't my gum." I can't decide. Maybe I could pay people to let me carve things onto their dead loved ones' gravestones. That could work.

Fixins Archive:
Sandwich Fixins #8
Sandwich Fixins #7
Sandwich Fixins #6


  1. I vote for "Incurable Romantic." -- But I can't believe you're suggesting that Clark/Supe would use his X-ray vision on Lois. Is nothing sacred to you?

    1. I assume that was a rhetorical question. I am a fan of Clark/Supe too but I think you're being a little naive.

  2. I find myself needing much more in the way of sandwich fixin's. More please!

  3. Creative headstones is a great idea!!
    Crotchless panties?? Ha!! The image will stay with me all day now...thanks!

  4. "This isn't my gum".....I love you.......

  5. Fun. Every time I'm standing at a gravestone now I'll be turning around every two minutes. For mine I've always liked "Apparently my work here is done."


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