Google, You Know Too Much!

Google, you've been sending me mixed signals for a while now. First your Street View buddies showed up in a car to snap my picture. You protested that you knew nothing about it but I knew you were digging my scene. It wasn't a particularly attractive photo of me but still, like many women in the first stages of being stalked, I was flattered by the attention.

Then everything changed. I got your invite to the Google+ party but when I showed up, nobody was there. You took down my photo and replaced it with one of the front of my building. You erased me, x'ed me from your world. It broke my heart but I moved on. Then I turned on my computer today and saw this:
It says "Happy Birthday!" but the cakes spell out your name. Ego, much? And how the heck do you know it's my birthday? I think I remember having to fill out a questionnaire to get into that Google+ party. You said it was going to be awesome  but I didn't see anyone except Flip and Buzz and they were pretty hammered. Come to think of it, I haven't seen those guys in a long time. Are they buried in your backyard?

Here's the bottom line, Google. I still have feelings for you. Maybe I always will. But I don't trust you. I'm afraid I may never be free of you. I'm willing to live with that but so help me God, if I open my browser one day to see something like, "You need to get that mole removed," I'm calling my lawyer.

More Google:
Google, Come Back!


  1. Sorry I missed your birthday! But at least now I'll know whether or not to be mad at Google in a couple weeks when it's my birthday... :)

  2. LOL! This is so funny!!! Google really knows too much and I wonder if there are other people who gets negative impression about the smart browser!


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